Penn and Tellers show BULLSHIT! covers the two faced foundation PETA. I always knew PETA was crazy. |
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Peta BULLSHIT!
Saturday, September 09, 2006
No Shirt, No Post
I haven't posted for a long time. February was the last one. The reason for this is very simple, and at the same time, very complicated. It all started about six months ago when I was skydiving near the rocky mountains. Everything was going according to plan until I made the jump. We were at the standard jumping altitude, the standard speed, and in the standard plane. When I jumped, there was an explosion behind me! The plane had just burst into a massive fireball. The blast disoriented me, and I must have landed a few hundred miles off course of where I should have landed. I did land, though, and it was as soft a landing as you would expect from a navy seal.
I didn't see any building as far as I could see in the thick forest, so I decided to start walking downhill until I found water or a road. This trek took me until sundown when I found a very small stream. At this point it was time to set up camp, seeing as how the sun was gone and it was useless to continue walking at this point. I had my trusty pocket knife with me, and started cutting brush and wood to get a fire started. My steel knife on a small piece of flint I found made making a fire a breeze. The first night was very cold, it being march in the Rockies, and I was very hungry since I hadn't eaten lunch or dinner.
The next day I continued walking downhill, following the stream. I collected huckleberries, and passed not so edible berries on my hike. I managed to hunt down a couple squirrels for meat. I continued walking again until sundown. This time at camp I had a meal. I got the fire burning and built a little lean to out of a small tree. Squirrel was the best meat I ever had eaten after two days of no food.
I continued on like this for months, each day making slightly better camps, and eating slightly better meat. Finally after about six months of traveling I came upon a dirt road. I walked down the road until I ran into a forest service vehicle that gladly picked me up and took me to the nearest town. I told my story and reporters nation wide came to cover it. You won't hear about it anywhere though, because the liberal media doesn't want anyone to know that someone can survive as an individual without society. So don't bother looking this story up on the internet!
Anyway, that's why I haven't posted since February.
I didn't see any building as far as I could see in the thick forest, so I decided to start walking downhill until I found water or a road. This trek took me until sundown when I found a very small stream. At this point it was time to set up camp, seeing as how the sun was gone and it was useless to continue walking at this point. I had my trusty pocket knife with me, and started cutting brush and wood to get a fire started. My steel knife on a small piece of flint I found made making a fire a breeze. The first night was very cold, it being march in the Rockies, and I was very hungry since I hadn't eaten lunch or dinner.
The next day I continued walking downhill, following the stream. I collected huckleberries, and passed not so edible berries on my hike. I managed to hunt down a couple squirrels for meat. I continued walking again until sundown. This time at camp I had a meal. I got the fire burning and built a little lean to out of a small tree. Squirrel was the best meat I ever had eaten after two days of no food.
I continued on like this for months, each day making slightly better camps, and eating slightly better meat. Finally after about six months of traveling I came upon a dirt road. I walked down the road until I ran into a forest service vehicle that gladly picked me up and took me to the nearest town. I told my story and reporters nation wide came to cover it. You won't hear about it anywhere though, because the liberal media doesn't want anyone to know that someone can survive as an individual without society. So don't bother looking this story up on the internet!
Anyway, that's why I haven't posted since February.
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