Peta BULLSHIT!

Penn and Tellers show BULLSHIT! covers the two faced foundation PETA. I always knew PETA was crazy.

No Shirt, No Post

I haven't posted for a long time. February was the last one. The reason for this is very simple, and at the same time, very complicated. It all started about six months ago when I was skydiving near the rocky mountains. Everything was going according to plan until I made the jump. We were at the standard jumping altitude, the standard speed, and in the standard plane. When I jumped, there was an explosion behind me! The plane had just burst into a massive fireball. The blast disoriented me, and I must have landed a few hundred miles off course of where I should have landed. I did land, though, and it was as soft a landing as you would expect from a navy seal.

I didn't see any building as far as I could see in the thick forest, so I decided to start walking downhill until I found water or a road. This trek took me until sundown when I found a very small stream. At this point it was time to set up camp, seeing as how the sun was gone and it was useless to continue walking at this point. I had my trusty pocket knife with me, and started cutting brush and wood to get a fire started. My steel knife on a small piece of flint I found made making a fire a breeze. The first night was very cold, it being march in the Rockies, and I was very hungry since I hadn't eaten lunch or dinner.

The next day I continued walking downhill, following the stream. I collected huckleberries, and passed not so edible berries on my hike. I managed to hunt down a couple squirrels for meat. I continued walking again until sundown. This time at camp I had a meal. I got the fire burning and built a little lean to out of a small tree. Squirrel was the best meat I ever had eaten after two days of no food.

I continued on like this for months, each day making slightly better camps, and eating slightly better meat. Finally after about six months of traveling I came upon a dirt road. I walked down the road until I ran into a forest service vehicle that gladly picked me up and took me to the nearest town. I told my story and reporters nation wide came to cover it. You won't hear about it anywhere though, because the liberal media doesn't want anyone to know that someone can survive as an individual without society. So don't bother looking this story up on the internet!

Anyway, that's why I haven't posted since February.

Heists

After the recent heists across the world, people keep asking me if I had anything to do with it. The two biggest ones I can name are the cash depot heist in Britain, and the art heist in Rio. I assure you as unlikely as it sounds, it wasn't me. My reputation as an international man of mystery has taken a bigger name than I can admit to. Though I am mysterious, I am not by any means international.

I won't lie; I could have used that $74 million from the cash depot heist, but I haven't ever been to Great Britain. I was also at school at the time of the incident, so my alibi is legitimate.

The famous pieces of art stolen from a museum in Rio during their Carnival festivities also weren’t me. I do enjoy Dali, but not so much Matisse. The rest that were taken seem to be the kind of art arrogant people have just to say they have it, not really to enjoy it. I’m not arrogant.

I hope everyone can sleep better tonight knowing it wasn’t me who pulled these heists. Everyone can stop pointing their fingers at me now. Also, remember that I am indeed mysterious.

Sudoku

Every day I have to do the sudoku in my school paper. Every day. I usually do it between classes, or during a lunch break. The one at school only has three difficulty levels: bronze, silver, and gold. Obviously gold is the hardest and bronze is the easiest.

None of them are too difficult, as I have been able to complete them all, every time. Not once has an Emerald sudoku stumped me. On the other hand, the one in the Register Guard has a seven difficulty levels. Seven! I've managed to complete up to six stars almost every time. Unfortunately the seven star difficulty I have yet to solve. I also do one on shockwave.com. One is not enough when it comes to sudoku. More than one can be enough.

That reminds me of something I heard today at school, "What is a physicist's definition of a diatomic molecule? One atom too many!"

Stupid, Smelly, Hippies

They're just gross. They stink like the bowels of a hog who hasn't had anything but corned beef to eat (they wouldn't if they didn't wear petruli), they only work as hard as their trust fund won't make them, and they often wear stupid hats. I hate those stupid hats.

If you read my earlier post about a stinking dirty hippy, you'll see why I dislike them on a personal level. They also use marijuana, the drug. If you need to break the law to get a buzz, you have some serious problems. That weed money should be saved up to buy a shrink.

Hippies also hug trees. Honestly! Hugging a tree? These people are idiots, and unfortunately hippy isn't a selected against trait, because they reproduce. Too much. I can smell them just writing this.

Another thing that I dislike about hippies is their inability to keep their clothes on in public. Would it kill them to not have a naked parade every year? Have they no shame?

On a serious note, not all hippies are bad, look at Matt Groening, he's a good guy.

Women's Snowboarding Super pipe

I've been pretty addicted to the Olympics this past week, watching it almost non-stop while its on, and thinking about it while its not. I watched the women's snowboarding the other night, and though I didn't completely agree with the judges on the order of the medal winners, I was pleased with their performances. I was almost convinced that the US would make a sweep, but then Norway stepped in with a great run and kept Clark from getting another medal. Had I been the judge, Norway would have made second, Teter third, and Bleiler would have won the gold. This was just the order I would have chosen by watching them ride. After seeing the interviews, I wish Teter wouldn't have won a medal at all. She definitely didn't need the air time to sound like an idiot stoner. Bleiler on the other hand was very articulate, and knew the english language very well. She also didn't wear a stupid hat.

Another one!

Official Survivor Congratulations! You scored 77%!

Whether through ferocity or quickness, you made it out. You made the right choice most of the time, but you probably screwed up somewhere. Nobody's perfect, at least you're alive.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 37% on survivalpoints

Link: The Zombie Scenario Survivor Test written by ci8db4uok on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

More stupid tests

The Slow Dancer Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm) Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer. Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive. Your exact opposite: The Hornivore Random Brutal Sex Master While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships. ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: Wagadoo1

Withdrawl

Shortly after denouncing Blogs as a reliable form of information, my good buddy tells me to go to his blog. How foolish I felt. I went to it, was entertained, then proceded to make additions to my blog. After these events, I hereby withdraw the statement I made about the lameness of blogs. Once again my interests have been caught, and probably more posts will be made. I really doubt anyone is reading this, but if you are I apologise for the inconvenience.

Stinking Flynn

You are a Social Moderate (50% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (63% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Nerdity

Lameness

After not using this blog for awhile, I've come to the conclusion that blogging is pretty lame. No one wants to hear my stories in a diary format, and blogs aren't newspapers, so news is irrelivant in this format. I doubt I will make many more blog entries as they are lame. Sorry for the inconvenience of having to put up with this poo. Au revoir.

Green Grass

When you're with people that are amazed with things that you've done and seen many times over, it makes you feel pretty cool. It becomes irritating when these people that are having a new experience make it clear that they know much more about these things than you. It may be true that these people have read a book or two more than me on the topic, but I have experienced it time after time, and regardless of what is read in a book, real life experience is much more valid. I wouldn't want a surgeon that read a book about to tell me how to do surgery when they never actually opened up a cadaver, if I had actually had experience in surgery. The same goes for what people tell me in an everyday situation. I don't want someone to tell me about something they've read about but never experienced, when I have experienced it.

In my experience the same type of people have constantly been the ones to do this. I won't say which ones, although they can primarily be found at universities and protests. They assume they know because they have gone to school, when in actuality they know only as much as they've done, which is nothing. These are the people that would rather argue their case than listen to the other side. If there is a rare occasion when they do listen, they're likely to discredit anything said after it is said, no matter how valid it may be.

Some venting. People are idiots, especially around here. Never have I known a more pretentious group of people than the ones that claim the majority of this area.

Same class, but i dont have a crossword. This seems like it will never end!

Culture

Is there loving in your eyes all the way? If I listen to your lies would they say, I’m a man without conviction? I ‘m a man who doesn’t know, how to sell a contradiction you come and go, you come and go. Karma karma karma Zachamealion.
~Antonio Ortega

This dude...

So this one time I was walking down the street with my buddy, and this dude asked me for some change. Being the gracious liar that I am, I quickly said no. Soon I was about to wish that I had given him everything I had. He was a filthy looking fellow, old clothes, poncho, unkempt hair, and fingernails blacker than night. He said it wasn't a problem, but demand a handshake, most likely to show respect to each other. I didn't feel much respect for this chap, he seemed very able in every to have a job, but he seemed to be a drifter instead. Later I was going to learn that he frequented Rainbow Festivals. My friend and I continued on our way to where ever we were going. It may have been 7-11, I'm not really sure. Anyways, when we came back through the same dude was there asking people for change. We were hoping we could avoid him, but he spotted us and came over to chat. He told us all about Rainbow Festival and how great it is, and how everyone should go. I had no idea that these things existed. When we left again, he wanted a hug this time. A hug! This stinky dude wanted a hug. Well, I figured it would be one of those pat on the back hugs, so as much as I didn't want to, I also didn't want to seem like a jerk. I started the pat, and he decided to go for the bear. We parted ways, and I never saw him again. I looked into these so called Rainbow Festivals, and it seems to be a large gathering of hippies who celebrate nature by leaving an enormous pile of garbage in it. Who understands those hippies anyways.

Bloggers

So, I've been looking around this so called blog place. From what I've seen, the people who write these things are either nuts, lonely, or stupid. This brings a tough decision to make; do I continue with the blog or do I stop now and never look back? Well, since I'm not nuts, or lonely, and as far as I know, I'm not stupid, I don't seem to fit in this blogger's world. First instinct would say, "Go! Get out of here while there's still time! Leave me, save yourself!" Second instinct would say, "Let's sneak out the back way, no one will see us that way, and we can still get out of here without spending any money." After listening to these guys, I've decided to do something completely out of instinct. I'm going to be the first sane, gregarious, intelligent blogger on the entire internet! Victory will be mine, and no one can stop me! Ha ha ha!

This class is boring. Thank God for this crossword puzzle, it's keeping my sanity in tact. The problem isn't that he doesn't speak perfect English, it's that he teaches like a textbook. I already have a book! He's too young to be a good teacher, and he isn't very entertaining. Now, back to the crossword.

I school here?

Too Much Work

Two projects are due in two weeks. I haven't yet started on either of them, but I'm sure to start soon. Why must these two summer classes be such a burden? Summer classes are supposed to be easy, and I don't want to put forth much effort.

On another note, my interest in anatomy has risen due to the fact that I've been watching House regularly. It's terrific. Where is my little radio? I would like to listen to it. Hopefully my anatomy interest stays consistent until the MCATs, so it's easier to study.

I'm getting very hungry. I should go take care of this problem before it gets out of control. Yes, I will eat.