Chainsaw

I cut down a dead tree in the yard today.  To do it, I used a chainsaw.  Chainsaws are pretty sweet tools.  I want one now, unfortunately I can't justify the purchase.  I'm suddenly jealous of people who have woodstoves. 

Total Domination

I sort of like Ninkasi brewing. Though, not outrageously ground breaking in any way, in fact, very similar to others in their class, Ninkasi is just good. Maybe it's the familiarity of flavor, or maybe its just the novelty. Maybe it's the fact that I just finished 22 ounces of their Total Domination IPA, and I can't really remember what it tasted like at the first sip. In any case, this young brewery, in my humble opinion, will go on to produce many good, though not remarkably different, brews in the future.

Familiarity and consistency rank very highly in my book, probably because it's easy to screw up a great idea. Sometimes brewers try to get creative and make terrible mistakes. I typically believe the best beers are only slightly, but significantly different than the beer that reigned supreme in previous years. Brewers must be careful, though, because if a beer is too similar to another the novelty is lost.

Don't take my beer drinking opinions too seriously. Pabst is one of my favorite lagers.

A Real Post!

I had a very weird dream last night. The dream wasn’t that strange in itself, but like all dreams, things didn’t make sense until it was thought about later. The start of the dream might not have been a dream at all, but it blended well with the dream, so just assume it was. The end on the other hand was abrupt, definitely like a dream ending, and it was accompanied by my alarm clock. The clock is weird, because it began and ended my dream. Though, I’m only sure that the second appearance of the clock was real. Anyways, on to the dream!

I started off in bed. Towards the end of sleep, not the going to bed part, which could be exciting all in itself, except I was alone. So even if I lost any perverts at this point the story will still continue. I’m in bed looking at the alarm clock (could be real, might be a dream) and trying to go back to sleep. That was the only part that I’m not sure if it was material or not, the rest is all dream. So I’m trying to go back to sleep, then of course the alarm goes off. I pull myself out of bed and I recall that I’m going to be doing some sort of businessy thing today, in hindsight, I think it might be an internship. I can remember remembering my tour of the office where I was going to work, but I have no idea what I was going to do. I do remember it was in downtown London, in a really tall building, which of course is all very exciting.

I get out of bed, and get ready and shower and such. I eat breakfast and have an hour or so to kill before I have to leave. The only way this time could be filled is to play Internet for awhile until it’s time to go. Time flies when you’re having fun, so of course all of the sudden I was late. Not only that, but another all of the sudden: my buddy (un-named but is really named, I just want to hide his identity from the world) is there trying to hurry me along. I was still in my pajama pants at this point and I needed to get dressed.

One thing I forgot to mention is that the house I’m staying in at this point (in the dream, not real life) is my aunt and uncle’s house who live in the middle of nowhere. Nowhere isn’t at all near London. So anyway, I go out front and wave to my dad who’s in the driveway waiting to pick me up and take me to the job. I make some sort of gesture to let him know it’s going to be a few more minutes until I’m ready. He turns off his headlights, which gives me the idea, that he gets the idea. I run back in to the house and get a better shirt on, some pants, and the works (awesome black, blue and white tie!). My buddy is there too and for some reason, I think he’s coming with me to this job. He tells me to put on some of this aftershave, Gillette brand in a bright green bottle, because it smells better in the office. I don’t argue that and we head back out to the car.

Dad’s waiting in the car, but it’s more of an SUV of some type than it is a car. When we get to the car, the interior is a stretch navigator (or at least what I imagine a stretch navigator to be, since I’ve never been in one) full of breakfast food and giant wine bottles. My dad is dressed up like a chauffer and hands me a gallon of milk and tells me to drink it for breakfast. I decline and off we go to my internship, I think.

Then the alarm goes off (this one I know is real) and I get up and get ready for work, not thinking about the dream at all. Then in the afternoon something reminds me of the dream, and I write it all out. And that’s what you just read.

Follow Through

It's obvious I don't have any. My monthly post is at this point a quarterly post. After all that time passed, I still don't have anything to talk about. I did get married, but that was a couple of months ago. Old news.

That's all I got right now, maybe I'll post again in three months. Hopefully it will be just one, but no promises. See you in April.

Laziness

I have been so incredibly lazy. I haven't even touched a single piece of my Internet web sites. I don't really have an excuse. I think it's time that I start updating once a quarter? Nay, once a month! I know this doesn't get read by anybody unless I tell them to read it. So there isn't really a point in updating. Maybe someday I'll have content in this blog. Someday.

I'm not very stupid

Windows?

I don't know what you're talking about. I use linux now. More specifically, Suse 10.1. I'm no longer shackled to the dungeon I call Microsoft, and I haven't fallen to the cult of the mac. Nope, I'm a free man, nothing but chameleons for me... free chameleons!

Some of my games even work for linux, and more and more work all the time. I laugh in the face of those stuck on an OS that you have to buy or steal. Ha ha ha!

End transmission.

Journalism Bunkified

Biker survives after being hit by SUV - News

It seems to me that the writer of this article was a big plugger as far as brand names went. Rather than saying laptop, it was definitely a Mac, rather than a coffee shop, it was Espresso Roma, and rather than a vehicle, it was a GMC Yukon. Aside from the Yukon, they were positive ads in place for what could have been generic items. It makes me wonder if this writer has sponsors from Mac, Espresso Roma, and Ford.

If I start plugging brands I wonder if I could get sponsorship. I wonder this as I use my Logitech keyboard and mouse, on Microsoft Windows. Sure would like a Corvette, which of course is made by GMC.

That's enough. Journalism is bunk.

Peta BULLSHIT!

Penn and Tellers show BULLSHIT! covers the two faced foundation PETA. I always knew PETA was crazy.

No Shirt, No Post

I haven't posted for a long time. February was the last one. The reason for this is very simple, and at the same time, very complicated. It all started about six months ago when I was skydiving near the rocky mountains. Everything was going according to plan until I made the jump. We were at the standard jumping altitude, the standard speed, and in the standard plane. When I jumped, there was an explosion behind me! The plane had just burst into a massive fireball. The blast disoriented me, and I must have landed a few hundred miles off course of where I should have landed. I did land, though, and it was as soft a landing as you would expect from a navy seal.

I didn't see any building as far as I could see in the thick forest, so I decided to start walking downhill until I found water or a road. This trek took me until sundown when I found a very small stream. At this point it was time to set up camp, seeing as how the sun was gone and it was useless to continue walking at this point. I had my trusty pocket knife with me, and started cutting brush and wood to get a fire started. My steel knife on a small piece of flint I found made making a fire a breeze. The first night was very cold, it being march in the Rockies, and I was very hungry since I hadn't eaten lunch or dinner.

The next day I continued walking downhill, following the stream. I collected huckleberries, and passed not so edible berries on my hike. I managed to hunt down a couple squirrels for meat. I continued walking again until sundown. This time at camp I had a meal. I got the fire burning and built a little lean to out of a small tree. Squirrel was the best meat I ever had eaten after two days of no food.

I continued on like this for months, each day making slightly better camps, and eating slightly better meat. Finally after about six months of traveling I came upon a dirt road. I walked down the road until I ran into a forest service vehicle that gladly picked me up and took me to the nearest town. I told my story and reporters nation wide came to cover it. You won't hear about it anywhere though, because the liberal media doesn't want anyone to know that someone can survive as an individual without society. So don't bother looking this story up on the internet!

Anyway, that's why I haven't posted since February.

Heists

After the recent heists across the world, people keep asking me if I had anything to do with it. The two biggest ones I can name are the cash depot heist in Britain, and the art heist in Rio. I assure you as unlikely as it sounds, it wasn't me. My reputation as an international man of mystery has taken a bigger name than I can admit to. Though I am mysterious, I am not by any means international.

I won't lie; I could have used that $74 million from the cash depot heist, but I haven't ever been to Great Britain. I was also at school at the time of the incident, so my alibi is legitimate.

The famous pieces of art stolen from a museum in Rio during their Carnival festivities also weren’t me. I do enjoy Dali, but not so much Matisse. The rest that were taken seem to be the kind of art arrogant people have just to say they have it, not really to enjoy it. I’m not arrogant.

I hope everyone can sleep better tonight knowing it wasn’t me who pulled these heists. Everyone can stop pointing their fingers at me now. Also, remember that I am indeed mysterious.

Sudoku

Every day I have to do the sudoku in my school paper. Every day. I usually do it between classes, or during a lunch break. The one at school only has three difficulty levels: bronze, silver, and gold. Obviously gold is the hardest and bronze is the easiest.

None of them are too difficult, as I have been able to complete them all, every time. Not once has an Emerald sudoku stumped me. On the other hand, the one in the Register Guard has a seven difficulty levels. Seven! I've managed to complete up to six stars almost every time. Unfortunately the seven star difficulty I have yet to solve. I also do one on shockwave.com. One is not enough when it comes to sudoku. More than one can be enough.

That reminds me of something I heard today at school, "What is a physicist's definition of a diatomic molecule? One atom too many!"

Stupid, Smelly, Hippies

They're just gross. They stink like the bowels of a hog who hasn't had anything but corned beef to eat (they wouldn't if they didn't wear petruli), they only work as hard as their trust fund won't make them, and they often wear stupid hats. I hate those stupid hats.

If you read my earlier post about a stinking dirty hippy, you'll see why I dislike them on a personal level. They also use marijuana, the drug. If you need to break the law to get a buzz, you have some serious problems. That weed money should be saved up to buy a shrink.

Hippies also hug trees. Honestly! Hugging a tree? These people are idiots, and unfortunately hippy isn't a selected against trait, because they reproduce. Too much. I can smell them just writing this.

Another thing that I dislike about hippies is their inability to keep their clothes on in public. Would it kill them to not have a naked parade every year? Have they no shame?

On a serious note, not all hippies are bad, look at Matt Groening, he's a good guy.

Women's Snowboarding Super pipe

I've been pretty addicted to the Olympics this past week, watching it almost non-stop while its on, and thinking about it while its not. I watched the women's snowboarding the other night, and though I didn't completely agree with the judges on the order of the medal winners, I was pleased with their performances. I was almost convinced that the US would make a sweep, but then Norway stepped in with a great run and kept Clark from getting another medal. Had I been the judge, Norway would have made second, Teter third, and Bleiler would have won the gold. This was just the order I would have chosen by watching them ride. After seeing the interviews, I wish Teter wouldn't have won a medal at all. She definitely didn't need the air time to sound like an idiot stoner. Bleiler on the other hand was very articulate, and knew the english language very well. She also didn't wear a stupid hat.

Another one!

Official Survivor Congratulations! You scored 77%!

Whether through ferocity or quickness, you made it out. You made the right choice most of the time, but you probably screwed up somewhere. Nobody's perfect, at least you're alive.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 37% on survivalpoints

Link: The Zombie Scenario Survivor Test written by ci8db4uok on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

More stupid tests

The Slow Dancer Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm) Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer. Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive. Your exact opposite: The Hornivore Random Brutal Sex Master While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships. ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: Wagadoo1

Withdrawl

Shortly after denouncing Blogs as a reliable form of information, my good buddy tells me to go to his blog. How foolish I felt. I went to it, was entertained, then proceded to make additions to my blog. After these events, I hereby withdraw the statement I made about the lameness of blogs. Once again my interests have been caught, and probably more posts will be made. I really doubt anyone is reading this, but if you are I apologise for the inconvenience.

Stinking Flynn

You are a Social Moderate (50% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (63% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Nerdity

Lameness

After not using this blog for awhile, I've come to the conclusion that blogging is pretty lame. No one wants to hear my stories in a diary format, and blogs aren't newspapers, so news is irrelivant in this format. I doubt I will make many more blog entries as they are lame. Sorry for the inconvenience of having to put up with this poo. Au revoir.